WORTH MORE DEAD THAN ALIVE

BIG BEN DOVER (50)

All eyes are on BIG BEN DOVER (50) as the handsome 6' 2" soloist ignites the entire congregation to flood the church with praises. Big Ben slightly nudges his wife Eileen away to extend both hands towards one of his many female fans.

LITTLE BEN DOVER (22)

Big Ben slightly nudges his wife Eileen away to extend both hands towards his tall, muscular, socially immature, happy son. LITTLE BEN DOVER JR.(22), the local hunk who is as sharp as a mashed potato, stands as his mother Eileen smiles to cover her embarrassment and resentment. With a thick southern accent and no restraints on his tongue, innocent Little Ben speaks his mind.

DENEPHEW (22)

The pretty male twins, DENEPHEW (22) flags Little Ben to the car. Denephew pleasantly marinates in Little Ben's presence while his less than subtle flirtatious hints unsuccessfully register with Little Ben.

EILEEN DOVER (44)

Stuffed into a dress two sizes too small, the curvaceous EILEEN DOVER (44) ceremoniously prances to Big Ben's side. Clinging to Big Ben, Eileen boastful eyes dart across the audience, making sure all the women in the congregation know who Big Ben belongs too.

FERN HAMSTER (45+)

With bated breath, Eileen anxiously sits on the edge of her seat as the helpful slow-minded-slow-talking family lawyer (FERN HAMSTER, 62) confers with her and Little Ben about her late husband’s will.

DENISE (22)

The pretty female twins, DENISE (22) is noticeably upset when her twin brother flags Little Ben to the car. Denise breaks out in a rash at the mere thought of ever dating with a poor man.

SKIP DOVER (45)

Unfortunately, Eileen crosses paths with her husband’s sneaky little brother (SKIP DOVER, 45) who has for over 20 years, made inappropriate sexual advances toward her.